Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Stupid Lotto Scratcher Experiment – Part II: Electric Boogaloo

Sorry for the delay. My adoring fans deserve better. Let's get to it!!

Well, the first thing I had to do to begin this journey was aquire the 100 tickets. What I had not counted on was how few stores carry the sacred "Blackjack Attack". It is also worth noting that I had Charlie with me because Heather was working and it's enough work to get a toddler out of a carseat once, much less 3,259,872,598,375,984,327,598,252 times. I thought I was going to be okay when the first store had them, but after the next couple didn't have them I knew I was in for a long day. I literally ended upgoing to no less than 12 stores, and at one point almost gave up, but in the interest of science I ground it out.


(It was kind of like running a marathon, just not as hard and not that good for you. Also I was alone. Really it's nothing like a marathon, I just like to say that something "was like running a marathon" whenever I sweat)

Finally I was done with the hard part. Now came the fun part of actually scratching the tickets. WRONG! You may think that scratching 100 lotto tix would be awesome. You would be wrong.

So far things learned from this experiment:

1. Getting a toddler out of a car seat more than 2-3 times in a 2 hour period is stains. Stains means bad for those that didn't know.
2. Scratching lotto tickets is fun only in moderation. Once it takes over an hour to do it, it also becomes stains.
3. That the number of states better than Texas is 49.


(My new USA, without Texas)

Now I know what everyone was just dying to know and that would be how I did on the scratchers moneywise.

Well lets just say that I also learned:

4. A -34% return is not a good investment and minus symbols are never good when money is involved (I am also working on the book version of this experiment called "How to Turn $100 Change into $66 Cash. Quick!").

It's almost embarassing how hard I had to work to lose that money, and that actually makes me happy because at least it's funny.

It's also worth pointing out that I thought I had $51 dollars worth of winners, but when I cashed them in the dude said I had $66. I meantion this only to point out that not only am I a sucker, but I am also bad at math.

True to my word I took the cash and put it in the bank, showing great control over my desire to "ride it out". It was kind of like I was Neo from the Matrix, but I took the blue pill instead and the credits rolled.


(Whoa!)

Kenny Rogers was no fool and I know when to run.


(I think the best part of the song is that the gambler takes the mans last drink of whiskey and a smoke, and in return tells him basically nothing).

3 comments:

Heather & Adam said...

I am such a lucky girl, to be married to someone who makes me laugh SO HARD...even if you do blow all our cash. Heehee.
Biloxi next weekend??
Psssshhhhffff.

audreyh said...

You so crack me up. Wasn't sure at first who's blog this was, but one post in particular nailed it for me. Only you and agin you crack me up.

Kelly said...

Stupid. So, so stupid. Thanks!