Friday, June 27, 2008

Tools of the Weak

I decided to follow up my "Tools of the Lazy" post, which was a look at three great inventions, with this post, a look at three things that annoy me, drive me crazy, and are all around lame.

#1 - The Wal-Mart Social

What I call the Wal-Mart social is basically when people, for some reason or another, have decided that the aisle I need to walk down at Wal-Mart is the best place in the entire universe to hold a conversation with their 2nd cousin twice removed that they happened to bump in to.

It would not be bizarre if this happened every once in awhile, but it happens every time I go to Wal-Mart, on every aisle.

Need bread? Tough shit young man, this here is Loretta and I have not seen her in two weeks and we got some catching up to do.

This ketchup I'm blocking that any sane person would step aside and let you get to? Well, I got no room for stepping when there's gossip to be had.

Wal-Mart has officially replaced the church as the social gathering place of choice for most, it seems.

#2 - Monopoly

Seriously, who ever finished a game of Monopoly? That's all I have to say about it.

#3 - The Pissing Calvin

I can't believe I still see this GD thing.

What makes it even worse, for me, is that Calvin and Hobbes is my all time favorite comic strip. To see my beloved childhood friend wrapped up in some redneck power struggle of Ford vs. Chevy brings tears to my eyes.

Some other dude had the same idea as me and made this "Calvin pissing on Calvin Pissing on Things".

If you have a Calvin Pissing sticker on your vehicle, then piss on you.


Anonymous said...

I'm just happy to see that Calvin is potty trained... or at least aiming.

Mike C. said...

I started a game of Monopoly in 2002 and just finished...whew!

Heather & Adam said...

My blog misses your blog.

greg said...

What if we could get Calvin pissing into Hobbs' mouth?