Sunday, June 15, 2008
The Tools of the Lazy
I'm lazy. I make no bones about it.
Lucky for me, the world has evolved to fit my needs.
Here are three examples of the things that have been given to the world by people better then me to help me live out my dream of becoming the least active person......ever.
Scenerio One - I hate having to get up and walk all the way (Note - 25 ft.) to the computer room, just to surf the web.
Solution Invented for Me - Wireless Internet.
Now I can sit on my couch and surf the web to my hearts desire. Gone are the days of getting up in the middle of football games to check my fantasy team. Gone are the days where arguments go on for hours before someone "googles it" to see who's right. What else was that guy in? Oh, let me imdb it for you right quick so it doesn't pester you the rest of the movie.
Scenerio Two - Blockbuster is a 15 minute drive. Wow, that sucks.
Solution Invented for Me - Netflix.
On my WIRELESS INTERNET I can now just go to a website and pick movies for them to mail to my house. Not to mention the selection is much better. This one has practical purposes outside of laziness as well. Netflix doesn't use gas. Now if someone would just invent a way to get the mail from the mailbox to my house I would be set. That's a long walk (note - it's not that long of a walk).
Scenerio Three - My need for sleep and my need to sit in front of the tv and watch EVERY SINGLE SHOW THAT COMES ON causes me to miss lots of quality television (note - most television is not quality).
Solution Invented for Me - Tivo
Tivo is perhaps the greatest invention ever (note - it's not even one of the 10 greatest inventions ever). Other people have tried to make their own version of tivo, such as Direct TV, but all pale in comparison. Heather and I even had to use ebay to get a direct tv version of Tivo since they don't sell it anymore because we refused to use an imitation. The amount of tv we can now view is awe inspiring (note - it is actually sad).
Other Tools of the Lazy - A remote control for our ceiling fan/light since even the simple act of standing up has become too hard (even if installing the GD thing was like running a marathon), rip cords that make our recliners recline since pulling the lever required too much arm work, and plastic cups and paper plates since running the dish washer requires pushing a button and is too good for the earth.
So, keep on not keeping on.