Sunday, June 15, 2008

The Tools of the Lazy

I'm lazy. I make no bones about it.

Lucky for me, the world has evolved to fit my needs.

Here are three examples of the things that have been given to the world by people better then me to help me live out my dream of becoming the least active person......ever.

Scenerio One - I hate having to get up and walk all the way (Note - 25 ft.) to the computer room, just to surf the web.

Solution Invented for Me - Wireless Internet.

Now I can sit on my couch and surf the web to my hearts desire. Gone are the days of getting up in the middle of football games to check my fantasy team. Gone are the days where arguments go on for hours before someone "googles it" to see who's right. What else was that guy in? Oh, let me imdb it for you right quick so it doesn't pester you the rest of the movie.

Scenerio Two - Blockbuster is a 15 minute drive. Wow, that sucks.

Solution Invented for Me - Netflix.

On my WIRELESS INTERNET I can now just go to a website and pick movies for them to mail to my house. Not to mention the selection is much better. This one has practical purposes outside of laziness as well. Netflix doesn't use gas. Now if someone would just invent a way to get the mail from the mailbox to my house I would be set. That's a long walk (note - it's not that long of a walk).

Scenerio Three - My need for sleep and my need to sit in front of the tv and watch EVERY SINGLE SHOW THAT COMES ON causes me to miss lots of quality television (note - most television is not quality).

Solution Invented for Me - Tivo

Tivo is perhaps the greatest invention ever (note - it's not even one of the 10 greatest inventions ever). Other people have tried to make their own version of tivo, such as Direct TV, but all pale in comparison. Heather and I even had to use ebay to get a direct tv version of Tivo since they don't sell it anymore because we refused to use an imitation. The amount of tv we can now view is awe inspiring (note - it is actually sad).

Other Tools of the Lazy - A remote control for our ceiling fan/light since even the simple act of standing up has become too hard (even if installing the GD thing was like running a marathon), rip cords that make our recliners recline since pulling the lever required too much arm work, and plastic cups and paper plates since running the dish washer requires pushing a button and is too good for the earth.

So, keep on not keeping on.


Heather & Adam said...

Don't tell people we use plastic!!
Geez, BoShanks, I want people to like us. Sigh. We are lazy though. Luckily, Charlie helps us be a LITTLE more active. I do still love our nights together, kicked back in the recliners, watching Lost and eating ice cream. :)
(Or shall I tell the good people of Blogland that you also watch The Bachelor and Beauty and the Geek?) AHEM. Love you silly.

Lindsey said...

This sounds like my kind of life! Very well put!

Anonymous said...

you are legend man...legend. and you keep us coming back for more.

Kari said...

Good to know we are in good company then! We utitlize all three of your favs daily as well.
Now, if there was just a way to have someone else put my girls to bed, we would be set.

You rock Adam!
Kari, Ron & the girsl

Chatter said...

You two are hilarious!! I love it :)